This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
