yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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