People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
