we're blogging at a bar
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
