I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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