I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
