Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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