i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
