Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize