she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
