i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
