just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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