i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
