Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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