all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize