There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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