you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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