they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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