oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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