Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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