16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
