found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
