So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
this is an emotional support booty call
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
