did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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