Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
