at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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