I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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