every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
