I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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