Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I will be naked everywhere
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
