I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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