so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
