The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
