bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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