When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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