Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
