my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize