Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
