cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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