Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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