Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
only you would photoshop your dick
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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