oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
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