I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
