but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
