it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
