I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dignity is for republicans.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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