I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize