I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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