Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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