didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My nipple is on Facebook.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
