i think my mom watched the whole time
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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