You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
