I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
