I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
