im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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