You're my little dorito
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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