So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
