when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
