he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
