I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
