haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
