If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
